


Trying and stumbling

by HikariYumi



Series: Pastoral counseling [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Bisexual Gabriel, Christian Castiel, Coming Out, First Crush, Gay Castiel, Gay Crowley (Supernatural), Gen, Homophobia, Human Castiel, Implied Crowstiel, Internalized Homophobia, Kid Castiel, Love Confessions, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Pre-Slash, Priest Crowley, Short One Shot, Teenager Castiel, church, pre destiel - Freeform, strictly catholic family, supporting Crowley, supporting Gabriel, timid castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-25 09:57:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9814373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HikariYumi/pseuds/HikariYumi
Summary: Castiel has his first real crush on a boy, meanwhile Gabriel figured out that his little brother is playing for the hometeam. Father MacLeod listens and succeeds in calming the teenager down.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there,  
> this is the second little fic in my Priest!Crowley universe. Castiel has grown older and his and Crowley's relationship developed into something less formal.
> 
> I hope you (still) like where this is going and I would advise to read the first installment bevor this one. Not sure if it makes a lot of sense otherwise. 
> 
> This work contains hints of internalized homophobia as well as mentioned homophobia and a gay priest. If you don't like this, that's totally alright. 
> 
> Mistakes can still occur, if you notice those which slipped my beta's eye tell me if you don't mind?  
> ~Hikari

Father MacLeod carefully poured himself a cup of coffee before sitting down in the armchair facing Castiel. The boy had turned fifteen by now and slowly grew into a man; Crowley really liked to watch it happen.

Since the special confession two years ago, they had met outside of the mass more often, not always to discuss a problem but sometimes just because they enjoyed each other’s company.

“So, how was your week, Castiel? Is Anael doing okay?”

To Crowley’s relief the boy nodded while sipping at his hot cocoa, mind clearly somewhere else. Anael, the only girl under the siblings and at the same time the youngest was as delicate as her brother. She was a little red-head yet to hit puberty and unfortunately not blessed with a good immune system, forcing her to spend a lot of time at home sick.

“Glad to hear that, it seems something else is bothering you then?” By now Crowley had gotten used to the gaps Castiel tended to make in conversations if he wasn’t too certain about a topic. The priest even noticed he was developing more patience for this kind of behavior, even though it was only with the young boy.

When Castiel still failed to break his silence, Crowley decided to start with something else. “Did Gabriel tell you that he visited me last week after work?”

That earned the boy's attention, his head immediately snapped from his cup up to the priests face. “Why did he do that? What did he say?”

It saddened Crowley that there still was fear in his eyes when he asked those questions. Because while he had started to accept his own sexuality as something that wasn’t wrong, he still hadn’t come out to anyone else than Anael. Well, at least not officially.

“It’s fine, Castiel, he just came to talk to me about you.” It took him a moment too long to realize that these words maybe didn’t sound comforting. “You know, I’m not allowed to tell things people talk about, but your brother allowed, even asked me to do it this time.”

The priest smiled a bit at the thought. Gabriel was maybe the most outstanding personality in the Novak family, not unlike his younger sibling but much more confident in himself and his decisions.

Sometimes Crowley wondered if the only thing that held the young man in the family were his siblings whom he loved deeply. Gabriel had shown early on that he had it into him to rebel against his parents’ wishes, left school and went straight to work in a little coffee shop instead of college as it had been planned. Needless to say, this was a very sore spot in the family picture, at least from their parents’ point of view; it somehow reminded the priest of the other son, Lucifer.

“He wanted you to know that he knows about your preferences and that you don’t need to hide yourself.” Crowley smirked but it softened when he caught the still worried expression on Castiel’s face. “But he understands why you were hesitant to open up about that to him, don’t worry. Ah, he offered to give you advice if you like, even though he currently only has a girlfriend.”

“He has a girlfriend?”

The boy looked honestly surprised by this revelation and even forgot to take another sip of his cocoa. It was somehow adorable, even if it was a bit sad how few personal things this family felt comfortable to tell each other.

“Yes, a girl named Kali, apparently they met at work. She is a regular there.” And apparently, she believed in a different god than the boys’ family and so wouldn’t be a fitting partner for Gabriel. That was why he had decided that making his relationship public wouldn’t be worth the trouble until this turned into something more serious.

“Oh, I see.” Castiel grew quiet again, processing this new piece of information about his brother. It was funny, Crowley could watch the moment the implied statement behind Gabriel’s words unfolded itself and with that the surprised expression returned.

“He– he likes boys, too?”

“He does. As well as girls, obviously.”

“Oh,” the boy whispered.

Father MacLeod finished his cup of coffee without haste, giving Castiel as much time as he needed. The Novak siblings were good kids, they really were. Yes, some of them were more influenced by their parents than some of the others, but that didn’t necessarily make them bad.

And they were smart; everyone in their own way, even if others might not be able to see that. Gabriel, for example, knew his little brother well enough to know that it might be better to turn to Crowley about this stuff first. In the last years they had established quite a connection. His last words to the priest had been that Gabriel would trust him with his little brother and that it was his task to not hurt Castiel.

Not that Crowley had ever intended to do that.

“I should talk to him, shouldn’t I?” The boy met his gaze again, looking not scared but thoughtful now, blue eyes shining as they always did when Castiel relaxed into their conversation. “Maybe, but do it when you feel ready, Gabriel will understand and is supporting you, alright?”  
  
“Yes, I understand.”

“You want another cuppa?” Crowley asked, pointing at the now empty mug in the boy’s hands. Momentarily confused, Castiel blinked, pulled out of his thoughts by the question.

“Yeah, no. There is something I wanted to ask you.”

There it was, finally, the reason why the boy was fidgeting like he had in the beginning of their meetings. The priest smiled encouragingly while leaning back into his armchair, folding his hands in his lap.

“At school, I’ve met someone. No, I didn’t meet him, we share a few courses. His name is Dean.”

His face timid, but with a noticeable spark of excitement that made Castiel appear even more youthful, Crowley just had to be happy for him.

“So, I take you like him?” In the end he was still Crowley and couldn’t help himself but tease a bit. It was alright though; by now he had figured out how much he could joke before the boy would start to take his words seriously.

“I… do.” A faint blush crept into Castiel’s pale cheeks, matched his averted eyes making him look like everyone should look while talking about their first crush. “And does he know?”

Crowley really had to hold himself back not show his fond amusement and instead appear neutral while interested.

“He didn’t seem to mind my… affection.”

That didn’t sound too bad; sadly some hetero men and women still reacted unkindly to being liked by the same gender. Maybe this Dean person would even show interest as well after he had warmed up to the idea.

He would wish forthat for Castiel’s sake.

“That’s a good start, isn’t it?”

A small smile broke out on the boy's lips; as if he had been wondering what Crowley would say about his first real step into living his life as a homosexual. If you could put it like that.

“It is. I was really scared that he would hate me for that or something. Or laugh and tell his friends like Uriel did to mother.” Now that the dam had broken, words just spilled out, spilling what Castiel had kept in the last days.

Crowley had to give him that, outing himself to one person like this always held the possibility of being outed without consent afterwards. At least Dean seemed to be a decent guy, separately from reciprocating Castiel’s affections or not. “You have been really brave to talk to this boy, Castiel. I’m proud of you.”

The priest smiled back and for a few minutes, the two of them just enjoyed the carefree silence that settled upon them.

Crowley and Castiel spent the rest of the afternoon with lighter topics and the boy even laughed a few times. Every time that happened, it made the priest feel warm, it had taken a long while until Castiel had started to be this comfortable around him.

Outside the little room of the priest’s quarters, the sun had begun to set, startling the two of them out of their conversation. “I should go home,” the boy murmured, glancing out of the window reluctantly. It was obvious that Castiel appreciated their shared afternoons and so did Crowley, that was why the priest gave a soundless sigh himself when patting the boy's shoulder lightly.

“Yes, it’s pretty late already. I don’t want you to get in trouble with your parents.”

In no time, Castiel had put on his coat, shouldered his schoolbag and was ready to leave.

“Thank you for the day. I’ll talk to Gabriel soon.”

“Go in peace. There is no need to thank me; I enjoy having you here as much as you do.”

“Goodbye, father.”

“See you on Saturday in church, Castiel.”

 


End file.
